Well it is Sunday evening… I am sitting here trying to balance my checkbook (still cannot find that $5.97)…trying to figure out why I didn’t exercise today, why I feel stressed out, what tomorrow will bring, what next week will bring. My dad is still battling his cancer – struggling to eat – although that is not happening right now – he is using a feeding tube instead. I am back to feeling like I need to be there for everyone, and feel isolated right now. Emotions are all over the place.
A friend of mine told me not long ago that I just need to focus – but focus on what? I have a thousand things running through my mind right now. I feel that I need to be there for my dad, yet I cannot be there in person. I feel that I want to give back to the world in some way, yet I push that thought out a few months and a few months and a few months as daily demands take up more of my time. I wish that we could head on a vacation to recharge my batteries, to give my wife and daughters a much needed trip, but I worry about being gone. The last time we were out of town for a long trip, my father-in-law had a heart attack and we came back on day two (he is fine now, but still talk about worry).
I don’t want this post to sound to depressing, I am just overloaded right now… I need to focus. I need to stop and enjoy the moments in life – like KU winning the big 12 championship game. (Does that count as a happy moment… ) I need to stop and say thanks for the wonderful things that are going on around me. I need to head out on a bike ride and let the legs work loose (that is my stress reliever – pics to come.) I need to just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the day. Enjoy the fact that I have a loving family and great friends. Enjoy the fact that life is moving along, and not forget to hug my wife and girls.
In the end, it doesn’t make sense to worry. Life will move at its own pace, in its own direction, and not under any agenda of mine. I will leave that up to God. Basically I need to eat more cookies and enjoy…