Isn’t it funny how you see a picture and think – that is me – that is my life. Well this picture represents my year… and oh what a long 2008… this has been an emotional roller coaster of a year. For those who do not know me or my life, I have been wrestling with the fact that my dad was diagnosed with stage 4A squamous cancer in January. Because others feel I am the strong one, I put myself out there to help, to give, to support. The biggest thing I had to deal with obviously was my dad’s health, but I also worried about him… you know – worried like I didn’t know I could. I worried about mom and dad’s financial health, mom’s emotional and physical health, my little sister as it related to dad and also a lot of other things separate from my dad, to my other sister (again separate from my anything to do with my dad), to x… to y… to z… I know if I place everything in God’s hands and not worry, life will go a lot better than how I am doing bumbling along, but man talk about a tough 6 months… Man talk about the stubbornness on my part for not turning things over.
Then you add in the stress of family life, work life, and spiritual life – well life seem to stop for a minute for me. Not actually stop, but I stopped and looked around at all aspects of my life. I realized that there are parts that were being left out, others that were getting to much, and others that hadn’t been touched in awhile. All this lead to the feeling of the coffee cup – slowing sagging… slowing failing.
Last week, I switched cups – and now my cup is a little taller. My dad got great news about his cancer. We are ecstatic…we still are. Life is good for another day! With regard to the other pieces in my life – well I will try again to turn them over. In the interim, I continue to say my short prayer – God, please help me, guide me and teach me.